All By Myself
Jan 2, 2007 Unplugged Authentcity
Welcome to Mom Unplugged. If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Here is another great contribution from Darlene Hull. I want to thank Darlene for helping me out and becoming my first Unplugged Mom of 2008!
*****************************************************
Part of my business consists in running workshops to help moms deal with mothering stress.
A feedback sheet from a recent workshop I led had this comment: ?It will be hard for me to get the help from other moms, as I find it hard not to be able to do it all?.
It never ceases to amaze me that today?s mom senses this need to be everything, all by herself. There is a feisty independent spirit reigning in each of us, and none of us moms is willing to show a weaker side, express the need for help, or look in any way inadequate to those around her.
I became a mother in a foreign country with few friends and no family support other than an amazing husband. Out of sheer desperation due to medical concerns, I needed to ask people for help. What I learned was that folks were delighted to be able to help me. It made both of us feel great.
None of us is good at everything. Every mom on the planet has areas of real weakness ? as well as real strength. And mothering was NEVER meant to be a ?go it alone? activity. God placed us in families, and placed those families in families. Today, however, many families consist of just a mom and her kids, and she?s trying to do it alone, often completely isolated from her own extended family.
I remember one time I was getting ready to have a bunch of young moms over for a Homeschooling meeting, and I was feeling frantic about getting the house all cleaned up. A wiser, older mom suggested that the kindest thing I could do for these moms was have them over when my house was a mess. It would help them feel more relaxed, and realize that we all struggle with keeping on top of things. That was very freeing advice I took to heart.
More recently a dear friend of mine, who?s going through some tough times in her family, was lamenting about her desire to finish painting her living room before Christmas, but knowing that it was not going to be possible. Now, I can?t paint my way out of a paper bag on the best of days, but I?m an amazing organizer/facilitator. I told her to leave it to me, and I got 4 great painting friends to come over and paint her house. It was all done in time for Christmas Eve, and everyone had such a great time. My friend was then able to really enjoy Christmas without the weight of unfinished work on her shoulders. What a gift that was to her!
It?s time to forget the whole independence thing, and bond together as moms sharing our weaknesses and strengths. I can add tons to your life, and you can add tons to mine; making both our lives richer and more satisfying for the sharing and caring that happens between us as we carry each others burdens. Shared struggles are halved struggles. Shared strengths are doubled strengths.
Shred the Supermom suit, and instead, opt for community mothering ? learning to share, support, receive, give, and grow. Your kids will love their new, more relaxed mom. I guarantee it!
