Wow, another year is only 2 days away! Every year I choose a new motto, theme, scripture, and song to help me create my goals, stick to them, and gauge where I am in life.

This year my motto or theme is “Forty, Fit, and Free!” I chose it because on January 17 I will 40 years old and I am getting myself in shape physically, mentally, and emotionally which will help me to live a more liberated existence.

I have chosen a few songs:

• Unrestrained by Calvin Nowell – Represents living a liberated life
• Inside Out by Calvin Nowell – Living life inside out
• I Am One by Chrisette Michelle – As one I can make a difference but with you the world can be changed.

My scripture:

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you. Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29: 11-13 (Amplified)

For 2008 I was removing the dead weight and that included people, places, and things. I let go of some folk who were toxic and I had already warned them in 2007 that I would be doing this. I let go of people who loved to dwell in the dirt fluttering around with wounds that they refused to let God heal. I just could no longer be that type of person. I lived for 38 years being a victim of circumstances and I just refused to go another year like that. I had climbed out of my pit in 2007 and I stayed out in 2008 but I had to do a lot of work to fill that pit with dirt so that I couldn’t fall in again.

I let go of projects, books, phone numbers, address, clothes, shoes, and all kind of stuff that served as a reminder that I once lived a “victim’s” life – cautious, scared, intimidated, and fearful of living outside of my comfortable shell. As I removed each piece the load in my mind became lighter and lighter.

I found myself early in 2008 suffering a breakdown but this time it was different. This time I was able to call on God and truly rest in His lap while he mended and healed my wounds.

I dealt with forgiveness during that period. Forgiveness of self, my deceased father, and my siblings. I realized that we are all who we are and I can’t let the lives others choose to live determine LaTara’s stance in life. It was hard because I had to let my sisters and brothers go. I could no longer be the youngest child trying to hold up Daddy’s legacy and keep everyone together. I could never fill Daddy’s shoes because they were way too big for me.

I had to deal with my issues in my marriage. Not any that my husband caused, but the ones I carried in with me when I laid my luggage down on the floor after saying I do. I could not be concerned with his issues, I had to deal with my own because only God can work on him. That was a hard pill to swallow and I got choked trying to swallow it a couple of times.

Let me publicly thank Daisy Sutherland (Dr. Mommy) for being real with me when all I wanted to do was blame him for the issues in the marriage. I was ready to leave and not face the stuff but she laid it out and boy did it hit me hard in the face! I listened to her because I see how she handles her own marriage – with dignity and grace! Let’s just say I have a ways to go.

I also had to deal with letting my oldest child be the man that God is molding him into.  When I decided to let him move to Oklahoma, I did it with many tears and a lot of pain. But God told me to just let him go. It was best for all of us. Now 7 months later he is in an excellent school (thanks to my great homeschooling), he is handling his anger much better, talking to his step-father (the only real father he ever had) with more respect and love, and is hearing God call him to ministry. WOW…what a difference!

As I look back, I would not trade the tears, pain, heartache, depression, and turmoil I endured this year. It was a pruning year for me and this time I handled it so much better.

In 2009, I am expecting so much from God! I am already watching Him work:

• I have a focused business that is already thriving.
• I have been selected to be a part of a collaborative writing project for the Pink Collar Club called “Confessions of an Ugly Woman”
• I finally have the outline for a book on forgiveness and healing that I had been praying on for some time. The entire outline was right before my eyes on the blog that I have been keeping hush hush about since 2007. More to come on this soon!
• I am connecting with proactive people who don’t dwell in the dirt fluttering around
• He has given me a great idea for authentic devotions right here on Mom Unplugged. More to come really soon!
• I have more joy than I ever have in the 20 years I have been saved (March 2009 will mark my 20th “New Man” Birthday)

Look out because in 2009 I will be forty, fit, and free! More to come on my motto in  a future post.

What is your motto?