Mom Unplugged

And He Sat Still

Jun 11, 2008 Unplugged Authentcity

When Brehane was between 16 and 18 months old his doctor was concerned that he was only saying a few words. I just thought he was a slow talker. Anyway the doctor arranged for him to have weekly in-home speech therapy.

His first therapist, Sandy, was wonderful. She followed what he did and played with him the whole hour. Sandy understood that Brehane was a very active child and would also get distracted with his favorite toys; cars, trucks, and trains; and she worked with that, using it in the therapy. When I met her she had informed us that she had cancer but was in remission. Some time she came out of remission and had to take a break from her weekly therapy sessions with Brehane.

I was not sure who he would get next or how they would handle Brehane.

Well, in enters Helene and I knew that we were in trouble. She was not exactly thrilled that my boys were homeschooled and she often remarked that they needed more outside activities. Now she never once inquired about their day to day activities. She simply made an assumption.

Assumptions can lead a person into some dangerous territory.

Helene spoke about Brehane as if he were one of the most unruly children she has ever come across. She would say that he got distracted to easily and it posed a problem for her. Forget the fact that she was a woman who never got up to play. She sat on the floor the entire hour and expected a 2 year old to do the same thing. Get real!

One comment she made really bugged me. She said that no day care would ever take him because he was too active and did not sit still. And then she mentioned the fact the he and AJ were homeschooled.

This momma was through. But you know what, that comment stuck with me. I would often find myself measuring my child with others. Was he moving too much? Did he need more interaction than what he already had? Would a day care really not accept him?

Last week I signed Brehane up for the CPL (Chicago Public Library) Summer Reading Program. Today was the first day.  Brehane has been around others kids but he has never been to a program like this before where he would have to actually sit still and listen; except when we do story time at home. I was a little concerned.

We get to the library, return the DVDs we borrowed last week. and head upstairs to story time. At first I make Brehane sit next me, but he ask if he can move up to the front seats and proceeds to sit front and center. Kids and moms start to come in, sit down, and prepare for story time. Brehane is still sitting still, looking back at me from time to time for reassurance that everything is ok. I simply smile and nod.

Story time starts with a song and then the leader tells all the children to come have a seat closer to her on the floor. For the next 30 minutes Brehane follow instructions, sits and stands as he is told, sings and jumps when it is time, and still peeks back at me for the smile and nod that everything is ok. We then go over to another room where the kids color.

As I sat and observed Brehane, I thought of Helene and that silly comment that I let tug at me for the last year and a half. I was wishing that she was there to see just how good Brehane really was. I thought that maybe I would write her a letter and let her know that she needs to stop assuming that she knows and learn to ask and observe with a more open mind.

I was so thrilled the he just sat still!