And You Complain…Why???

Posted by LaTara on July 22, 2008

It seems as if things just come full circle in life and this morning, in my life, they did just that. I got a call from Oklahoma at 8:40am and I was not sure what to expect. My mother does not call me that early, unless she really has something to say. However, what I heard on the other end, made me cry and ask, again and again if she was sure.

She told me that my son, AJ’s best friend, Michiah and his family lost their mom last night to an accident that could have been avoided. Not only did the kids lose mom, but dad lost the love of his life; his highschool sweetheart. Her name was Candy.

When AJ first went to OK, he joined the homeschool basketball team and that is how he met Michiah. This young man and his family embraced my son and he quickly became a part of their lives. He and Michiah’s mom, Candy, grew really close. So close that she was willing to be responsible for AJ attending the homeschool co-op that her kids attend. She was to be his sponsor, until I arrive. She told me that she loved AJ as if he were her son because he is just a good kid.

He called Candy mom and Michiah, called me mom, because they now consider themselves to be more than friends, but brothers. I was very excited to met her because of her generosity to my son. They picked him up for practice, took him to games, and helped my mother a lot with an active teen. For that I was so grateful and could not wait to get down there and give Candy, a great big hug.

But now I will only know the memory or her as people tell me about the woman she was.

As I was washing this morning, I considered my life in the last few years and how often I complained about what wasn’t or what should be. How very selfish of me to be so concerned with ME.

There are children and husbands who lose their moms and wives daily. They have no other choice but to deal with the lost. I don’t have to choose to complain.

Perhaps this has all come full circle for me because I am at a point in my life where I am truly changing from that complaining, miserable woman I was. Candy’s death showed me that the road I am on is the right one. I am on the road to LIVE LIFE WITH MEANING!

Tomorrow is not promised. We are not even sure about today.

I am not sad, but I am in awe of the life of a woman who homeschooled 6 children, took care of her husband, who traveled a lot with his job, and she still had her own massage business. And, get this, she lived her life to the fullest from what AJ tells me.

Do you live life to the fullest? Or do you complain day after day about things that you can do something about; whether you control them or not?

Hello, My name is LaTara, and I am a former complainer! But to this day I can’t tell you why other than I wanted people to do it my way or the highway. If I could not see the good in something, I complained. If I was broke, I complained. If my husband did not follow through, I complained. If he forgot to kiss me when he walked out the door, I complained. If my son worked me to the very last nerve, I complained. If I someone did not do as promised or if they broke a barter agreement, I complained. If I did not make a sale or if a campaign went wrong,  complained. I complained so much, I could not see clear to work things out in a more postive way.

The bible says that we are what we think. Can you imagine what I was? Let me tell you it was not very nice.

Today I see that my decision to take things as they come and adjust my mind to deal with what is in a proactive manner, was a good one. I am doing it right and I thank God, that even through this tragedy, I can see that.

I just spoke with AJ and he was with the family at their request. He, Michiah, and the basketball coach were playing basketball and living because they know that is what Candy would want them to do.

We are given so many gifts, so much to enjoy and be grateful for. So many people to love and spend quality time with. So much to do in life. A purpose that is just ours to fulfill.

And you complain….WHY?

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