If you have been following the Cross Blog Conversation I have been having with Stepanie over at Profitable Mommy Blogging, then you know we have been having a blast talking about the definition of a Mommy Blogger. I really enjoyed it.

We covered the topic well and I think any Mommy Blogger,or potential Mommy Blogger, can benefit from reading the conversations we had. Just in case you are wondering what I think a Mommy Blogger is, then you can start here.

What I learned from this CBC with Stephanie is that while I am not the typical “Mommy Blogger”, I am still a Mommy Blogger. No I don’t do a lot of give aways, or reviews and probably never will do more than a few a month. However, my reader is a different type of reader and I think they enjoy what I have to say as a woman, who happens to be a mom.

Stephanie, thank you so much for chatting with me via the blogsphere. I invite you to conversate with me anytime because you made me think and anyone who read my last response to you knows that I love to think.

Stephanie and I have decided to continue our Mommy Blogger cross blog conversation. Instead of talking about “Defining Mommy Blogger“, we are now focusing on the passion we think it takes to have a successful mom blog. Stephanie asked me…

What is the difference between a passion and an interest?  What steps can a Mommy Blogger take to determine her passions?  And once she recognizes a passion, how does she use it to build a blog?

Why she continues to ask me these thought provoking questions is beyond this deep thinking mom

I think that the first question is very eye opening. I say this because I had to stop and think about it for a moment. The answer is the difference between an interest and a passion is the drive and thirst to do it. For example I am interested in scrapbooking; but I just don’t have the time to do it. I am interested in ballroom dancing; but I do not know if I will ever try it. I am interested in learning more Spanish; but it is not a huge need in my life right now. An interest can also be a hobby that one just enjoys; but a hobby can also be a passion – like a mom’s desire to capture moments with scrapbooks.

However, I am driven to do things that help others. I have a passion to see people live beyond their wildest dreams. I have a passion to write and make people think twice. I have a passion to help young African American girls believe in themselves and to be proud of the caramel mocha skin they are in. I am passionate about education and try to learn something new everyday.

I love what I am passionate about. I don’t love what I have an interest in.

As far as what steps a mom should take to determine her passions, here is what I have to say…

1. She needs to pay attention to those thing that make her want to do something more with it or about it.
2. Look at her talents, skills, and even spiritual gifts. Often times are passions are tied up with those three things.
3. Determine what matters most in life. This is a good way to find passion as well.
4. Pray about it.
5. Ask others what they think. Others can usually see what we can’t because we are too busy looking at what we do wrong.

Once a mom recognizes her passions, she needs to determine how she wants to convey them on her blog. For me I do with encouraging words, devotions, and reviews of things that will help women to see that they are more than just MOM…they are WOMEN and that carries a lot of clout. Soon I will be vlogging about my passions because I think that people relate more to what they see.

If she is passionate about a childhood disease that her child has, then she should write about her experiences, the disease, and the solutions. If she is passionate about photography her blog should be built around images, what the images are, and what they mean to her. If she is passionate about cooking the her blog should be built around things like recipes, how-to videos, cooking techniques, and even cookware.

Whatever she builds her blog around I think she should include some steps to helps others who share same passions as she does. She should also do reviews based on her blogs content. When a mom blogger who talks about cooking reviews things like lotions and candles, it just does not blend right. She may be able to review one of those H2O vacumms or even a CD that she plays while she cooks or while the family eats. Whatevet it is, it needs to be relevant to the subject she speaks on the most.

Whew Stephanie, did I cover it well enough for you? I sure hope so.

Ok, so Stephanie and I are still having Cross Blog Conversation and sharing our thoughts on “Defining Mommy Blogger”. The last conversation we had was great and I was glad to share with Stephanie from Profitable Mommy Blogging my thoughts on what a Mommy Blogger is to me. I was a little apprensive talking about it because I was not sure what other mom bloggers would think, but then once I started writing, the words just started flowing. I could not wait for Stephanie’s reply and it was a good one.

Now it is my turn to reply to Stephanie again so here goes.

Stephanie asked me the following:

“Does a Mommy Blogger have to write about a variety of topics she’s passionate about? If so, is there a limit to the number of topics she can make work on one blog? Or can a mom write a niche blog about 1 or 2 closely related topics and still be considered a Mommy Blogger?”

Stephanie, you have asked me another set of  loaded questions but I think I can answer them.

I think that in order for a mommy blogger to be an effective blogger who wants to attract people, she has to have some passion about what she writes about. I don’t think writing about things on a mom blog that you are not that passionate about will come off as well as sharing about the things that mean something to the blogger. People are more attracted to blogs that cover subjects the blogger is passionate about. When a mom blogger covers areas that are not about those things that she fit her, it shows. Sure it is ok to talk about something off the topic of your normal “Blog Chat” – I do it – but I think sticking to what you know, or want to know more about, works best.

I do think there is a limit on the topics one can talk about. I find that some Mom Bloggers have way too many topics they try to cover; and it seems that after a while some of those blogs just fizzle out. When you provide people with too many choices they just get confused and will not visit your blog as much. One thing I love about a good Mom Blog is variety but too much that it makes my head spin.

As far as writing a  niche focused blog, I say yes to that as well. There are many mom bloggers who are covering a specific focus only, and then there are some who cover a specific topic that serves as more of an umbrella for “subtopics”. Either way I think it works as long as the topic holds some interest to the intended audience.

In essence I think I am saying that with Mommy Blogging, to me the sky is the limit as long as you it with purpose. I am just a woman who thinks purpose should be the driving force behind anything that one does.  Without purpose or vision, people will fail.

Today I am starting a Cross Blog Conversation with Stephanie over at Profitable Mommy Blogging. I am excited about this because we decided to explore my dilemma with whether or not I am a Mommy Blogger. I shared my concern with the subject in this post and for the next few days Stephanie and I will be talking more in depth about my “anguish”.

Stephanie, asked me to give my definition of Mommy Blogging and what I think the requirements are. She also wanted to know if I consider myself to be a Mommy Blogger.

Hmmmm….those are some pretty loaded questions but I will try to answer them.

What is my defintion of a mommy blogger?

I have to laugh about this because my initial definition was a woman who was so into her family that she just had to gush about them. That was not good for me because I don’t always gush about my kids. I mean Brehane, my 5yo still pees on himself sometimes, he is a follower, and he still wants mommy to kiss his “boo boos”…hello if it ain’t bleeding or broke, you will be ok.

Then there is my teen ager. AJ is 16, soon to be 17 and is a great kid but like his momma, he has a mouth that gets him in trouble and he is at an age when he is wanting to be so darned independent it works my nerves when I try to communicate certain things to him. Now I am not sure he still pees on himself but last time I checked, everything appeared to be ok. So I am not a woman who gushes over her kids because to be honest, while I always love them – I do not always like them (oh boy I can hear moms everywhere “gasping” at that one).

I am also not the woman who thinks that being a mom is her purpose in life. It is a part of my journey. It is a role I have been honored and privilaged to have bestowed upon me by God but it is not my end all reason for living.

After meeting some other mommy bloggers, I started to see that some of them were pretty much like me and not at all like I assumed. Although I do know a few who fit the stereo type I had conjured up in my head.

At any rate, after some deep thought, I have come to the conclusion that if I were to define Mommy Blogger in today’s Blogoshere in my terms it would be, “a woman who writes passionately about her life and life as she sees it, sharing some good ideas, products, and more along the way.”

I consider myself to be an off the cuff authentic Mommy Blogger who blogs about the many things that moms and women go through but often try to cover it up. You know like when I said, Brehane’s still pees on himself sometimes or when my husband gets on my nerves (which lately has been often). I also cover topics like depression, living like to the fullest in a proactive manner and my struggle to do so, the importance of a relationship with God and how faith is so important.  It is what I am passionate about.

The only thing required is that she enjoys writing what she shares about. However, I have to say that one exception in my book are moms who blogs just for the free stuff. That to me is a huge NO NO in the blogging world. Maybe because I am a true writer at heart and see the power of blogging when it is used in the right way

If that is my definition then I guess you could say that YES I am a mommy blogger!

So Stephanie, what do you think about my answer? Was it ok..LOL! I would love to hear your thoughts.

My friend Mary tagged me in this post over that Moms Talk Network at the beginning of the month. I am so bad with this tagging thing but I am going to try this one.

Mary asked

“What are your thoughts on disciplining your kids? What stages of life are you and your kids in now and what lessons have you learned through the years, or months if you’re a new mom?”

For me I am in two stages of raising my children. My oldest is 16 and my youngest is 5. That is a huge age gap and discplining styles are similar but very different too.

A while back my husband and I were talking about treating each individual as a  Child of God first and then deal with them. Regardless of what they may think about God, they are created in His image.

This is how I try to discipline my boys. Now I don’t always hit the mark but I try.

With my 16 year old I am at a point of mentoring more than discipling and for the most part it works. I just don’t think that forcing a teenager to do things works very well because 9 times out fo 10 they just end up rebelling. I know this well because my 16 year old ran away when he was 13.  I realized then that force never works.

Think about it. When God create us, He gave us a mind to think with and with that came free will. Now while God’s ultimate desire is for us to yield our will over to Him so that we are on the right path with Him, He does not force the issue at all. The choice is ours, but we have to remember 3 things in making decisions in life:

1. Everything you do affects someone else.
2. You have to pay the price for what you do in life – be it good, bad or in between.

These are the very things I tell my 16 yr old. In addition I have a few more pearls of wisdom I share with him:

1. Do what you gotta do so you can do what you want to do
2. Being grown does give you a license to do whatever you want. It is license to behave and act like a responsible individual and to so ethically and morally.

Now while I do not spank my oldest anylonger I do still make him suffer the consequences just as God would. There are times when I may take his phone and then there are times when I let him talk but only got about 5 minutes at time. That burns him up because te conversation has no time to get good and juicy. In other words, I let the punishment fit the crime.

For the most part he is a good kid. All he does is go to school, play sports, help others, coach his little league soccer team, go to church twice  week, play on his computer, eat, and sleep. That is basically it. His goal is not to hang out but to hang in and get what he needs as far as education so that he can get what he wants out of life.

My 5 yr old is another stage of disclipine. Again, he is first a Child of God but how I deal with him is different. He is at tha age where he is very active and inquisitive. It sometimes gets in a lot fo trouble. He seldom gets spanked but he does get restrictions and moral lesson talks. He is a very determined child so his dad and I have learned to team together to help him know how to use that determination in a more proactive manner.

For me I think one of the key elements for discplining both of my boys is that I remind often that tey are chosen by God. I don’t know if it a confidence builder or a conviction vehicle, but it helps them to live a better life. Especially the older one. He knows how to think and pray before moving forward. I did not get that at 16 and boy did my life show it.

Are my kids perfect? Not by a long shot. Am I perfect? Don’t you even believe it.

My oldest can tell you that there have been times when momma would black out and nut up, especially when he started thinking that because he was taller than me, he could handle me. Well let’s just say his butt has shined my wood floors a couple of times. And if he ever comes at me like that again, I will not hesitate to floor him one more time. But i think he has learned…Momma don’t play that.

However, I see the value of disclipling with God instead of doing it on my on my own. So I try to see them both as Children of God first before I discipline. As hard as it may be, it is a valuable thing to do.

What is your story?

I am tagging

Daisy – Dr Mommy Chronicles

April – That Crazy Mom

Last month I was tagged by Daisy over at Dr Mommy Chronicles. The topic is Motherhood Lessons. It took me a few days to decide what I would talk about because I did not want to write just any thing. After that I just kept forgetting; but on this Sabbath morning I have time to write a bit now.

If you have been participating in reading and commenting on this blog for any amount of time then you know that I am going to come a little off the cuff with my thoughts. So here goes.

As a mother I guess you could say that the main lesson I have learned to always allow your children to be molded by God. I think the most valuable thing that we can learn as moms is that we cannot control our children. We can manage and guide, but not control. God blessed us with children and as with everything we are given, we are to be good stewards over them.

When my oldest was young I used to always tell him and still do to this day “Don’t live your life for mom. Live it for God. I am not the one you have to please,” and this is true. Yet many moms expect their children to do what pleases mom. I wonder how many pray that God’s will be done in the lives of their child?

Yes, I have tried to control my kids but it did not take God to reel me back in. Why? Because when both of my children were born, like Samuel’s mother, Hannah, I gave my boys back to the Lord for His service – however He sees fit. I learned that with AJ when his biological father was threatening to kill me and kidnap my child. I had no one to really rely on but God and I knew that it was to Him my child belonged. So when I try to control instead of guiding and managing, God surely lets me know. And you know what, I apologize to them when I know I have tried to control a situation.

I am a mother who wants the best for her children but I also know that what I think is best is not necessarily what God thinks is best. As I watch my son, AJ, I see the anointing that God has on him. More than one person has told me that my oldest will be a minister. God showed me this long ago and I never forced it on AJ, I have just watched to see what God does with him and if he allows God to do it. He told me last month that he thinks that God is calling Him. I told him to be prayerful and ask God to mold him. We have talked about it before but never in the capacity we did that day.

If that is to be his calling, then to God be the glory. Who am I to stand in God’s way. As mom it is my duty to teach my boys to “seek ye first the kingdom of God” (Matt 6:33)  so that everything else can some into place.

One thing I do everyday with my boys is tell them “You are God’s chosen” and then I have them repeat it. It not only makes them feel special, but it lets them know that they have work to do in the Kingdom Restoration process.

Being a mom is not easy or simple. But it is one of the most worthwhile adventures a woman can have.

On Septmber 23rd at 6:01pm Brehane Yosef Ham-Ying was born weighing in at 8lbs 1oz. His dad named him and the meaning is as follows: Brehane is Ethopian for “My light”; Yosef is Hebrew for “Joseph” which means “May Jehovah add/increase”; and Joseph is also my husband’s middle name; and Ham-Ying is his Chinese surname as my husband is half-Chinese.

He was a bright baby with a perfectly round head, very tight Chinese Eyes, straight black hair, and a wide nose. He looked nothing like the woman who birthed him. As a matter of fact, I carried his birth certificate with me when we traveled to Los Angeles 6 months later because I did not want people to think I kidnapped him. But he does have my lips and eye lashes.

He was a breastfed baby with a hungry appetite. So much so that when he turned 6 months old and I could not get work done, I walked down to WalGreen’s and bought a pacifier. Come to find out he just had a serious need to suck. Ahh the binky was my buddy.

He loves people, and when he was a baby going to see his 102 year old Great-Grandmother made his day. He was, however, a very picky baby and would not just go to anyone. But when Granny held him he just lit up.

And this is Mr Man today! Still has that Asian look with dimples and a gorgeous smile. Oh yeah, and the perfectly round head he was born with morphed into his momma big long head. But he is my wonderful little cutie and I would not trade him for the world.

HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY BREHANE YOSEF HAM-YING!

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