One thing that I have learned is that when you are clear on your goals, you do not cling to less important priorities. You recognize that, like everyone else, you have limited time, energy and resources. As a result, you learn to let go of the idea that somehow you should be able to do everything.

You learn to keep your focus on your objective, and distribute your time based on three priorities: God, you, and family. You then prioritize and make goals; making sure to give yourself ample space for rest and rejuvenation.

Grabbing as hold to the fat was very important to me, especially in the last few months. I start a path to purposely obey God. Why?

Because obedience is just that – purposeful!

I grew tired of trying to figure it all out on my own and when my business literally came to a standstill, I had to look to God to figure it all out.

For me it was becoming more important for God to come first my life, and to set aside time to let Him nurture me. I was taught years ago about the importance of building an intimate relationship through communing with Him and last summer I became hungry for the time with Him.

I learned that in doing so my family and I were beyond blessed! The more time I gave to God the more my life took on new meaning. The more time I spent with the God the less important making money became. The more time I spent with Him, the more I saw the truth in my dreams.

The more time I spent with the Father, the more my true priorities came into view; not only in my spiritual life but in my personals and business life as well.

• My relaxation activities are important. While they may not seem that critical to others, I know that my level of productivity depends largely on my own opportunities for rest and creative expression, so I have to make those moments a priority in my life as well.
• My time with my husband is necessary. After having the issues we had we have learned to place one another as a high priority on our list. Our conversation has changed, what we say to other and how we say it has changed, and how we support and accept one another has changed as well.
• My time with each of my boys is vital. I have to make time for my boys. One is about to go to college and the other is little boy that folks want to label as different but he is just very very special. Each one needs something particular form me and I have to focus on those needs.
• My business needs my focus. When it is time for work, it is time for work. When you work from home it is easy to mesh work and home into one but the truth is you can’t. I know I mentor on life and business integration but that does not have to do with working from home. It has to do with learning to incorporate a whole living approach to your daily business activities. My focus on business has to occur within scheduled hours for many reasons – one being my sanity. So I do things to make sure it happens. For example I only do consultations Tuesday – Thursday for set amount of time.
• With the rest of my time, I am choosing to engage in activities that help me reach my spiritual, personal and professional goals and let go of everything else. Yes I have time for fun – that’s included in the personal stuff; and even some of the spiritual stuff too. Yep, life with God can be fun

Whether it’s a conference, a date with my husband or my boys, or a bowling night with friends, I have learned, and continue to do so to filter each possible activity and expenditure through my priorities and make my decisions accordingly.

While there are some who do not like it I am clear with others about my priorities and availability. I have learned to let go of all guilt when I choose to decline an activity because I am confident that I have the big picture in mind and I am making a positive choice for the long run.

What about you

1. Are you clear in your own mind about your goals and priorities?
2. Do others understand your goals?
3. Do you need to give up an activity that has been draining your time for no reason?

Talk to me! Let’s discuss priorities and setting healthy boundaries.

Fearfully and wonderfully, He created each and every part of me..
Without doubt the Master carved my greatness into being.
With strokes of love He painted a rich vibrant color all over my body.
Each time He touched me He thought of how wonderful my life would be.

He saw my days and wrote each one down in the book of life.
With careful thought He penned each bump, obstacles,
and the victory I would have in the midst of it all.
He knew I would be one to accept His Son
and that the enemy would try and steal me away.

Yet as He wrote, He knew that in my life He would be glorified.

My heart He etched with love;
a deep loyal, abiding love that would spread to others like fire
My mind He carved out to take His word and use it for healing
and to light the path towards His truth;
Not just for me, but for each and every soul that I come in contact with.
My spirit He molded into one that would be burdened with the issues of many;
Knowing that I would take the risk and receive the calling.

Each moment of my creation was glorious
Each part of me was carefully thought out
Making my calling sure

So with each step that I take, I give Him the praise
I lift my hands and heart to Him
My life I give right back to Him
Knowing that through it all
When God made me He created an awesome beauty.

Now I ask you…

What is your creation story?

Habari Gani? The news today is Ujima (00-JEE-mah) which means “Collective Work and Responsibility”. This principle teaches us that we are to build and maintain our community together and make our brother’s and sister’s problems our problems and to solve them together.

Day 3 of Kwanzaa represents a very important aspect of the Christian faith that helps us to become all the God intends for us to be. We are expected to work together and help one another. However, for some reason in this mixed up society we have missed the true mission as mandated by God.

I have always taught my children to help others and to work with others. It is a very important part of our family mission to simply be the vessels that God has created us to be.

I think it so sad how so many point fingers instead of looking beyond a situation into the soul of a person. Ujima teaches us that it is irresponsible to do such a thing. It is irresponsible to be a part of the problem as opposed to being a part of the solution.

I often tell my boys if you have nothing productive to add to a situation or issue then just leave it be.

I won’t speak long on today’s principle because there it pretty much speaks what needs to be spoken.

I will share the scriptures of the day…

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

1 Corinthians 12: 12 -26

Habari Gani? What is your news for the day?

What’s the news? Today the news is Kujichagulia  ((koo-jee-cha-goo-LEE-ah) is “Self-Determination”. It means “to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves”.

As I speak to my boys about self-determination I want them to first understand that it is impossible without God at the helm. That in essence your drive to define who you are, to name who you are and to create for yourself without the meddling of man comes from the core of who we are in Christ.

When we are bold in our walk we learn to speak up for who we are, what we do, and how we do it with tact and grace. It becomes the cornerstone of who we are as children of the Creator.

However I want to caution them that self-determination must be handled with a huge dose of humbleness so that pride does not become their downfall.

Your desire to do more and to be more has to first come from your desire to delight yourself in God. If not your self-determination becomes all for vain glory. Vain glory is not the right road to travel. The right road to travel is one that leads to unity in Christ first and man second.

So as I talk about self-determination I will remind them that it is not a pride issue but rather it is about getting your life in order and not letting anyone stand in your way so that you can turn around and help others do the same. It is about being a valued part of your community.

It is knowing that you are made to be something wonderful and extraordinary in whatever way God deems necessary.

The scripture we will use will be…

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:13-14

If we understand this scripture then we can determine to be everything we are called to be in Christ!

Habari Gani…

Today determine to be the best you that you be! All things are possible with Christ!

Habari Gani? What’s your news of the day?

To read more about Kwanzaa visit the official site and be sure to read about the powerful theme for 2009′s celebration from the Founder of Kwanzaa, Dr. Maulana Karanga

When I first learned of Kwanzaa it was at my former church in Los Angeles. As my pastor presented the principles and concept of the week long celebration, I became engrossed with it. Why was it that I had missed out on this fabulous opportunity to be a part of building community and cultural roots?

Every year we as a family discuss Kwanzaa and what is means to our family and the African American race. I can’t ignore where I come from or who I am so I as a mother teach my children to embrace it as well. For I am not ashamed of the color of my skin, my roots, and the struggle that we have and continue to endure.

By sharing the principles of Kwanzaa I am teaching my chidren that importance of believing in yourself and your community.  I am proud to say that my boys are confident, self-reliant, and able to recognize the wrongs the dwell therein and that come from the outside of our community trying to destroy it.

Each day that I share a part of Kwanzaa with them, I will share it here as well. You do not have to be African American to appreciate the principles because they are really universal. In many ways what you will read and learn can be applied in various instances in our lives.

All of the principles can be applied to your life in some way.

As each principle is shared a standars greeting is given first. That greeting is…

Habari Gani means “What’s the news?”

It is followed by the principle of the day.

Here is principle 1:

Umoja  is the first principle of Kwanzaa and it means “unity”. The principle teaches about striving for and maintaining unity in family, community, nation, and race.

So to those reading this post I say to you to go out and be a part of your community and others. Involve yourself with making sure that you teach your children the truth about race relations so that we can learn to live together in harmony. If you are African American do not teach your children to fear or hate and the same goes for you my borther or sister from another race…don’t spread hate. If you don’t get it…ask!!

One thing I will do as a child of God is share a scripture with my boys that can be integrated into the principle of the day.

Today’s scripture is John 17: 20 -26

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Just as the first principle of Kwanzaa is centered on unity so is the Christian walk. We must be unified in order to win this battle. If we fight among ourselves, decide to be conservative or liberal without first seeking God, or do things to that go against God’s word then we are not unified. However if we seek to understand, stay prayerful and seek first the Kingdom of God then we can begin live as the true community of Worshipers that God seeks.

So to you I say Habari Gani? and you say…

Today I Facebook I posted the following…

My life this year took me from high to low to high again but God’s grip of grace never left me. He held me tight and never let me go! As the man-ordained year comes to an end, I am grateful for the many lessons learned, the confidence gained, the boldness to expect nothing but the best from God!

I started 2009 with high hopes for my business and boy did it start with a bang. However, one thing that very few knew was that by May is was starting to wane a bit. By June I was getting just enough to pay a few business bills. I was literally wondering where my next dollar would come from. I was not in the poverty state of mind that I was in when I wrote about having a poverty mentality.

This time it was different. I was hungry. Not for power or even money. I was hungry to get it right and follow through with all that I needed to do.

When I was in the poverty state of mind, I would have just given up!

But this time I had fallen and I knew I could get up. Sure there were times when I was discouraged and I asked God what was this all about. What was a missing? Who needs to know my story in order to be healed and set free? Why did He choose me for this test?

What do I do?

I fell but I found my way up.

I restructured my business, listened to God and not man, and went back to my call of helping women as mandated by God, and put my priorities back on track.

I can say that through it all the following occurred…

• Most of my business bills we able to be paid with the exception of one and that one was practically given to me until I am able to pay again.
• I was able to complete all the learning for my business I wanted to this year
• My kids did not go without
• I did not miss a meal
• I had to buy a new computer and while I had to make payments on it, I have been able to do that
  

The lesson here is that you may fall but you can get back up.

Today I was reminded of the lesson from a friend who sent me a link to an amazing video. It is a HUGE reminder that there is no excuse not to get back up!

This year has been a testing on for me. I discovered that in so many ways on I am on target with what God has for me to do and in others I miss the target by a long shot. However, through it all I have been tremendously blessed.

At the beginning of this year I had it all planned out how my year would go. I was going to be Forty, Fit, and Fine.  I did reach a lot of those goals: I am about 40 lbs smaller, I did turn 40, I started caring about myself more, and I learned to appreciate all that God has blessed me with.

To know that I am worth more than rubies in His eyes so much so that He knows the number of hairs on my head amazed me to no end. Once I grabbed on to that fact… I AM WORTH SOMETHING…it changed the way I approached my entire life.

God is just good like that!

As I considered my business and how it fits with my life I saw some things I like and some I did not like. I enjoyed the fact that I was actually making an income online. I loved that God was directing much of it. I did not like the fact that I was not giving Him total control. I did not like that fact that I was missing out on some tremendous blessing because I did not give Him total control.

Over the past few months my life has been shaken up quite a bit. To such a point that I have had to truly look at where I was in life. I had to access my strengths and weaknesses; consider my principles and values; and look at my true mission in life.

I had no other choice. God literally had my life at a standstill in the area of business. Everything seemed to go south and nothing was working the right. I was not getting it. I was working everyday at something but the outcome was not as I always expected.

I took some time to speak with two women who are just gems to me and realized some things. I needed a serious adjustment in my approach to a few things.

I was working from a standpoint outside of my scope of values and principles. Yes,  I was within the scope on so many levels but I was starting to become discouraged by the lack of dollars and it was driving me into positions I did not care to be in. I was starting to get desperate and even ended up working on a project that cost me in the end. I did not hear God say no but I did see the warning signs early on and just kept at it.

Ahh well…lesson learned!

Here is the core of what I learned:

• When you think that God is giving you something if you are not sure what to do with it…wait! He will reveal it to you. It is ok to step back for a  while, evaluate and just wait. Don’t move ahead until it is revealed to you whether or not it is for you do.
• If you feel led to help someone, don’t allow them to step over you and then come back for more. Some folks will give you a pity story over and over again just to get your sympathy, milk you like there is no tomorrow, and then leave you with the empty carton.
• Stay within the scope of your core values and principles. In everything you do, use them as you gauge. If what is before you does not fit then it is likely not for you.

I saw that – especially with business – staying within the core is what matters most.

So I am biting the bullet on a few things in my life. For the purposes of this post, I will share one of them.

• I will be writing more than I have in some years. I am signing up with Examiner.com for the Oklahoma City area, and I am once again going to take on writing clients. One of my values is that I care about the whole health of my family. When I was sticking with the writing finances were good. It was where God told me to go and I heeded. Then I got greedy and went way out of my scope. Not that I was not to add more to be list of services but that I totally left the writing out because it did not fit what I wanted to do. Instead of scaling back on the writing some, I  stopped all together. I even stopped writing my devotions, encouraging words and articles for magazines. I was tired of doing it; and yet, writing is my love!

Sometimes you have to get to your breaking point to see the big picture. This past summer I was there.

I am writing my core values and principles out again so that I have them to gauge where I am and what I am doing. God has given me a list and over the next few months you will see some stuff that I am not even sure how to implement…and yet He has put the task before me.

Like the core of an apple, if what is on the inside starts to rot due to lack of care, then the flesh will just smell and taste nasty. I don’t want my core rotting to the cause of stench. As a servant who lives life on purpose, I must allow my core to be nurtured for the glory of God!

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about what happens when fear gets its hook into you. It went over well and I am still getting emails and even phone calls about that post. There are a lot of frightened people in this world. It makes sense because these are frightening times.

Today as I was schedule some blog tour stops and book reviews for the week here at Mom Unplugged, I was reminded about a scripture that suddenly brought me peace in the midst of the fears I face.

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8: 38-39

When I read a scripture like that it makes me feel guilty that I fear anything. When you think about, according to this scripture there is not a thing in this world that can keep us from God. If we choose to obey and follow Him, He will not leave us. He promised to never leave us or forsake us. Yet, in our flesh we are weak and we dwell on the very things that this scripture says will not separate us from the love of God.

The truth about fear is that it stems from our own insecurities, uncertainties, worries, and concerns. Fear stems from our own selfish desires and ignorance. OUCH!

That even hurt me to write. You see my own selfish desires have made me afraid to die. I have had some symptoms for the past few years that in my opinion have not been properly diagnosed. But now I am working with some doctors both in the natural health and traditional medicine field to narrow some things down so that I finally know what the issue is. It has been scary and many nights I cry because I fear dying young. I am crying as I write this post but it must be shared because someone will need to read the words I write and know that they are not alone and that there is a way to conquer this demon called FEAR!

While I think my issues narrow down to controllable conditions like menopause, diabetes or thyroid issues coupled with the great stress I have been under, it is still scary when you don’t know exactly what it is and your body starts to hurt, you get dizzy, nauseated, and tired. It is even worse when you have no insurance and getting these days at an inexpensive rate is so darn hard. So I have to wait for money to build up in my account to to take more tests.

So sad that in a place we claim is the land of the free that greed has taken over the health field and people are more concerned it money than good health. I should not be suffering like this.

That only escalates the fear.

And yet I know that I need not fear because nothing can separate me from the love of God. No matter what I am protected, my kids will be fine and life will go on with or without me. What I have to focus on is going forth with the call on my life and make sure that i am sticking with His plan.

This is why I do what I do, why I am who I am, and why I live like there is not tomorrow. I have not other choice because no one’s tomorrow is promised.

My health is getting better days by day the more I lose weight, exercise and focus on good eating. Does that mean it will prolong my life…WHO KNOWS! I do know that I ask God everyday to honor my attempts at healthy living and guide me to do what I need to do to live as long as He has set for me to live.

Writing this post is acting on courage for me. God told me to write it and I kept saying now because I was just plain scared to share my insecurities on being here tomorrow. But if I am to obey then I must and so I did.

You know I don’t think I will die tomorrow but I wanted to get this out in the open because a part of my getting through this fear is knowing that there are people praying for me, holding me accountable to my health goals, and helping me to stand strong through it all.

For I know that there is nothing in this world that will ever separate me from God’s love.

I am just going to put it plainly. I get scared sometimes; and there are instances when it is almost crippling to my entire being. I have had episodes in the past where I severe anxiety has led to sleepless nights and thoughts of death. Your mind does funny things when your body is tired.

What you thought that just because I am an encourager and motivator; and because I stand firm on my faith that I don’t get scared? Get real and think again! I am made of flesh and blood just like you.

Anxiety stems from fear and fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.

Read that statement one more time. Go on! Read it now because I want you to get the point I am trying to drive home.

Fear can get you in its grip and have you so trapped that you literally have no way out. Trust me I know. I was there for the better part of my life. Let me share an event with you that had me so entrapped by fear that it debilitated parts of my life.

I started driving when I 15. Thanks to one of my closet friends, I was behind the wheel of a car before my mom even knew it. I drove often too. When I entered the 11th grade, my mother decided that it was time for me to take driver’s lessons and get my license. I was so excited because that meant that I could drive and not worry about getting caught.

On the first day of my “official”driving lessons the instructor came in a regular car. Not a drivers instructing car. We drove away from my house about 1/4 of a mile and he pulls over.  Let me tell you, this man had a surprise for me.

We were going to pick the car up but I was going to do the driving.  Had he lost his mind?

No, he hadn’t. Follow me, I am really going somewhere with this.

At first I thought he was joking but then he said that either I get on the driver’s side or else we sit there.  I was ready to walk back home at the point; but I wanted my license, so I obliged. For those who know Los Angeles, I was on Florence at the time. We drove down Florence to the 110 Freeway at which time he told me to get on the freeway. WHAT??????

Come on, my Southern Cali folk, y’all know how congested that freeway is and this was a Saturday morning going northbound. Can I tell you I was scared outta my wits? Yet, I wanted that license so I obliged.

I drove on the freeway for about 4 miles before I had to merge to get off. I did it. Not a problem. Then we drove to where the car was, got in and continued the lessons. I completed the Driving course and was ready for my permit and then my license. I was about to go places. Or so I thought.

One evening, my sister told me to drive her to store and that if I succeeded, I could drive her car once I got my license. I was so excited. I got in the car, backed out, and proceeded about a mile to the store. Once I get to the store, I start my turn into the driveway and my turn is a little too wide. My sister says something to me, jumps to grab the wheel and I freeze. BAM… I hit a parked truck.

Just that quick FEAR had me in it grip. I did not move. I just held my head down until my sister told my sister told me to move to the passenger’s side. This was after the man in the truck said not to ever let me drive again. My sister’s car was pretty bad but his big ole’ clunker was just fine.

All the way to the house I was told that I would never drive her car again. I was still in shock and crying because I felt horrible. Did I need to feel any worse than I already had?

FEAR had me in its grip.

After that day I seldom got behind the wheel of a car and no one in my family encouraged me to do so. They were all too busy telling people what I did and laughing at me. But no one said, “Hey LaTara! You can get back out there again!”

That same childhood friend who had taught me to drive in the first place, tried to get me back out there but it was no use.

FEAR had me in its grip.

From then on it was easy to go without a car because I had public transportation and was often on the way to where someone was going, so they would just pick me up. However, there were those times when I had to get to the grocery store and would have to tote all the bags back on the bus. Or when my son ran away and I could not get in a car to look for him. Or even just the times when sitting and waiting on the bus was just getting on my nerves.

Still….

FEAR had me in its grip. For 24 years it has controlled me when it comes to driving again. For 24 years I have lived in fear of hitting another car or being hit by one.

For 24 years FEAR owned me!

WOW!

Now I am here in Oklahoma and having a car is a must. So my dilemma is do I just sit in the house day after day and rely on my 69 yr old mother to drive me all over the place or do I look fear in the face and have the courage to just DO IT!

I am now looking for a little used car I can practice in so that I can go get that license and move on!

There are other ways that FEAR had me. Like my fear of succeeding because of what the changes might do to my life. Or even my fear of dying a horrible death. Or even my fear of being loved and appreciated because I had been so used in the past by family and friends.

Do I stay in that GRIP?

No way.

God’s grip of grace is way more powerful than FEAR. With God nothing is impossible because I can do all things through Christ who is my strength.

This morning I had already had this post on my mind to write and I almost did not do it. When I opened my email box there was an article from a blog I follow that confirmed my need to DO IT. It talked about being afraid of success and it was right up my alley today, so I decided that it was time to write the post.

How does FEAR have its grip on you?

When you are living a life that is boxed in without true freedom, you tend to do the same to God. Because of the limitations you have placed, or allowed to be placed, on your own life, you look at God in the same light. God is not like us!
God is infinite, forever, and never ending! Does that paint a better picture of the God we serve?

We are human, God is not. We cannot treat God like the buddy next door who can hang with us at one function but not the next. He is not our child; we cannot limit what He can and cannot do. He is not a cheating spouse with whom we have to build trust again. He is not the employer who treats you wrong or fires you.

God is so much more than that.

When we try to box God into the places we want Him to be we prevent our own blessings. God cannot and will not work in a boxed in environment to please you. He is not that type of God.

The type of God is He is one who knows the plans He has for you. Plans that lead to a successful end and that does not mean monetarily. That is another box we place God in!

God is a god of limitless abilities and we somehow miss that fact.

You say that you can never stop sinning. God’s word says that with Christ all things are possible and that with every temptation that comes your way, God has provided a door of escape. WOW!

To not believe that, is just as if you are telling God that His Word is not true and that it will return to Him void.

I may be a little harsh in writing this but the bottom line is that we have to stop putting God in boxes and placing Him on the shelf all the way in the back until we need Him. We cannot place Him in different boxes in the hope that He will bless our mess.

Each box you try to put Him in usually has to do with something you are personally dealing with. So, you know what you need to do….DEAL with IT!

I am writing this as cleansing for myself. You see I too placed God is so many boxes and yet when I opened the boxes He was not there. You know why?

It is because God does work on my time frame. He works on His own. God does not think like me; nor are His ways like mine. Oh no, they go beyond what we can ever imagine.

Today if you think you have God right where you want Him, go open those boxes and I bet they are empty.

I dare you to remove what you think you know about God. Liberation is right around the corner…all you have to do is GIVE GOD THE CONTROL!