Lord prepare me, to be a sanctuary
Pure and holy; tried and true
And with thanksgiving I’ll be a living
Sanctuary,
Lord for You

I love this song. It reminds me that God wants me to be set apart for His glory! A sanctuary is a consecrated place. A place set aside for special purposes.

Whenever I sing this song I am reminded of the things I still need to work on and the things that God is perfecting in me. That’s right I said perfecting. God is always preparing you for something more. We always reach the end of one leg of the journey.

I am near the end of one leg of my wonderful journey. I have felt God’s pull for quite sometime with this but I was not sure He was telling me this. However, every time I see or hear of woman suffering through depression, taking meds to stay calm, crying out for different life, or in what I call a “spiritual funk”, I know that God was not stuttering when He told me to do this.

I have a program based on the philosophy of this blog, called Pathways to Authentic Living that launched in March of this year. You can read more about here, but don’t sign up there because you will be charged. All you have to do to be part of the program is visit this blog often and sign up for the mailing list.

The women who are a part of the course enjoy it and yet I kept telling God there are not enough getting the message and power behind Pathways. I think many Christian women are stuck thinking that the program may be founded upon New Age Philosophy, Blab it and Grab It, or The Secret. They could not be further from the truth.

This is sorta how the conversation went over the last 5 months while I struggled with this decision to do what I knew God was calling me to do.

So I said, “Lord what do I do to get women to grab hold to this? Not just Christian women, but women in need a BREAKTHROUGH?”

“Give it away”, I thought I heard.

“Lord, are you for real?”

“Yes!”

“But why Father. I created this program with not only helping other women but to make some money too. I can’t live on air.”

“When have I ever not provided. Give it away.”

“Well, Lord. I need to think about this. I put a lot of time and effort into pulling this program together”

“To whom much is given, much is required. I took you through the process so that you can bless others. And when I gave it, it was a gift. The only thing I required was your undivided attention. Was your life not changed as a result?”

“Well, yeah but…”

“Give it away. Seek first My Kingdom and the rest will be given to you. Too many of my Children are being misinformed about abundant living. Too many are missing important issues when it comes to authentic living. I did create each one uniquely because that is how I love them. I want them to know this.”

“Well, Lord, if you say so. I may not get it all but I will just Give It Away.”

That has been the conversation over the last 5 months and initially it bothered me; but after a while I started getting very excited. I was going to get the opportunity to share this magnificent journey towards true authentic living with others.

Look for the Pathways Program to become a part of the Mom Unplugged blog in a major way. Be sure to join the subscriber list for updates on the podcast I have planned as well. You also want to pay attention to the Paths To Authentic Living category because that is where most of the material will be located for this program.

I suggest you get a good journal, Bible, and some tissue because trust me there will be times when you will cry. Some of the tears will be painful but many will be joyful as a result of the breakthrough you will experience.

I will be starting with the program here on the blog, free of charge, December 1. It will become the core of Mom Unplugged. But you do not have to be a mom to be blessed by the program.

One more thing I want to tell you before I go. I mentioned the song, Lord Prepare Me at the very beginning and the importance of a sanctuary. I see now that by obeying Him and following through that He has been preparing me for it all along. I have a great deal of the content and audio already done. Isn’t God good

I have been set apart with the purpose of helping women step out of the box of mediocrity into a wonderful world of Whole Authentic Living in Christ!

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Today there are so many ways to encourage yourself and affirm your value and worth. However, one who loves the Lord must be careful to pay attention to the sources they rely on for affirmation. Here is an example:

I drink Yogi tea because it is one of the most beneficial teas for healthy living I know of. Each tea bag has a little saying on it and while most are pretty good some are a little bit far fetched. Like….

• Empty yourself and let the universe fill you

Stuff like that will get you no where fast because it is most likely founded upon very shaky ground.

It is a good to learn to affirm yourself with the Word. It helps keep you grounded in good soil so that your roots run deep. Affirming yourself with the Word gives you confidence and assurance. Affirming yourself with the Word helps you to be enlightened with the Truth that sets you free. Affirming yourself with the Word helps you to see the value of abundant life in Christ.

When I was stepping out of the box of box of mediocre living and into the authentic existence that God had for me, I used the word to affirm and motivate me to never stop believing in the woman God is creating me to be.

I remember when I had my breakdown in 2008. God had been dealing with me for sometime about stepping out of the box but I was letting my husband’s mess stifle my creative being and I walked down his path. There was no intertwining the paths as far as he was concerned. It was his way or no way because he knew best.

Let me tell you that when God says “touch not mine anointed” He means it and my husband, bless his heart, is learning some valuable lessons about trying to control people. He too has an anointing on his life and a prophetic message; but he had to realize that God has a Plan for us all that only HE can determine. I will share this story at another time.

Ok, yet again I digressed a bit. Back to the example I was giving.

In February of that year I was tired and just wanted to end it all. My oldest son stopped me from literally slitting my throat. I was that miserable…can you imagine. Please don’t because it is not worth it to do so.

It was a wake up call for our family that something was terribly wrong. My depression had taken its toll on me.

That next day my husband, who was scared out of his wits, found a counselor for me but it turned out we could not afford him. So I prayed and asked God what to do because I had scared myself too.I could not afford

He gave me Psalms 139 and I read it over and over again until it began to really sink in. I had read it so many times before and had even suggested for others to read. But this time I meditated on it until I cried and started truly believing that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. It ROCKED my world and gave me such a sense of being.

Things did not change over night and my marriage is still a little shaky but what affirming myself through the Word was an awesome experience.

If you are wondering if I got any help for my breakdown I did. I just so happen to be surrounded by a group of strong coaches and they were vital in my recovery. However, my main Therapist was GOD!

I gave this example of my life to say that if you are looking for something to meditate on that will affirm you then try the Word or a resource very much grounded in it.

Here are a few of my favorite Affirming Scriptures all taken from the New American Standard Bible:

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.0
(Psalms 139:13-14

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
(Jeremiah 29:11)

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light And your judgment as the noonday. (Psalm 37:4-6)

I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces will never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him And saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, And rescues them. O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! O fear the LORD, you His saints; For to those who fear Him there is no want.
(Psalm 34:4-9)

Romans 8 – The entire chapter

for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
(Philippians 2:13)

I can do all things through Him (Christ) who strengthens me.
(Philippians 4:13)  (italicization mine)

For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
(Colossians 3:3)

How do you affirm yourself? Is it grounded in the Word?

There are many things that I am passionate about, but none more than my thirst to please God. Lately this thirst has been deeper than it has ever been. I am not sure if it is the times we live in or just that I am older and more wiser; but I am determined now to do things that way He wants them done.

That has meant letting some people and things go. It has also meant sharing parts of my life that most people would not dare to share with others. Whatever the reason I am in a better place as a result.

As I reconnected with God after trying to hide for so long, I have found that I am more real and authentic. I am no longer afraid to be LaTara – the woman God created me to be. During my quest for a new more refined me, I was given a rather interesting formula that I call the Authentic Formula. At first I did not get it and thought is rather bizarre because it calls for one to accept every part of them before they can truly grow. After time I started to see why.

Let me share the formula with you and explain each part.

Accept. To accept who you are, you have to take every part; the good, the bad and the ugly. The bottom line is that at this point in your life, you are who you are; but that does not mean you have to stay as you are. When Jesus said to “come as you are” I don’t think His expectation was for you to stay in that place. What he meant was that He accepted you where you were because of His unconditional love for you. However, it is also that love that will stir you to make the good better, turn the bad to good, and take the ugly and make it pretty. These things can only be done when you accept who you are. Then and only then will you grow.

Embrace. Now this does not mean that you fall in love with what you have accepted. By no means should you hold on to those parts that need to tweaked or totally overhauled. But if you are going to accept them in order to change, you have to embrace them too.  One of the definitions for “embrace” is “to take in with the eye or the mind”.  So to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly means to take a closer look, meditate on each part of you, and discover why you are in that particular place – be it good, bad or ugly. Once you do this you are ready for the next step in the formula.

Deal with it. OK it is time to leave your comfort zone and step out of the box. This is where you learn to deal with everything you have learned about the good, the bad, and the ugly of you. It is where you take the parts and start doing the work necessary for the change. It is where the tears begin to dry, you stop cussing at yourself so much, and you see the beauty of loving the YOU that God created you to be.

Move On To Liberated Walking. This is a simple part yet very complex partof the process. It is hard to leave behind what may have been the most comfortable place you had ever been. You have stepped out of the box but you may be fearful to make a step. Both feet are planted on the ground and you see the horizon. All that you can do at this point is take it one day at a time. There is not magic pill and, yes, you will be ready to run back to your comfortable place. This is where holding on to God and all that He is placed in you will matter most.

Your life is what you make of it. If your mind thinks the worse, it will get the worse. If it thinks the excellent, it will get the excellent. God does not force your destiny on you, it is for you to accept. Does that mean that you won’t have mess to deal with…NOPE! Does it mean that you won’t get scared and want to run like the wind the other ways…NOPE!. It does means that when your mind is transformed you will deal with it differently and you will not dwell in the ugly of YOU. You will dwell in the beauty of YOU.

Living life using the Authentic Formula is the most rewarding way to live.

I share this formula and more through the Pathways to Authentic Living program for women.  PAL is a unique program especially for women, designed to help them create the map that leads to the core of who they are. It is a great way for women to learn to truly live life inside out. It is a 6 months mind transformation process that will truly help a women to step out onto the path set for them.

If you want to learn the process of the Authentic Formula, join me at Pathways for Authentic Living.

You can find more about the program by listening to this in depth interview I did with Dr Daisy Sutherland of Dr Mommy Chronicles. I have also provided a neat exercise that helps you to take a look at who you are now, who you want to become and how you want others to see you. These are free or charge and you can get them right here if you want.

Interview with Dr. Daisy Sutherland

Who Am I Chart

Do you see that pretty heart? it represents change for a better me, and you if you choose to accept the challenge as I did. My good friend -really i am not joking – Kelly McCausey has decided it is time to become a better her. What a goal! She took some time to talk about it and open up the challenge to all who will join her on a road that is sure to change lives.

I am in. Most of my readers know that I have been on a journey like this for quite some time. so joining this challenge is right up my alley.

Let me share with you what I will be working on in the next 48 days:

1. Getting into the Word Daily.
2. Journaling daily
3. Stretching
4. Managing my time better
5. Eating more fresh fruits and vegetables
6. Reading more life enriching books
7. Stop drinking sodas – a habit I picked back up through this transition period we have been through.

Like Kelly, I am asking that you hold me accountable for my actions. Email me, call me on Skype if you have my ID, Tweet me, Facebook me -whatever- and let me kow that your eyes are watching me.

I am in! Are you? If so be sure to read Kelly’s post about the challenge, pick up the graphic and start your change today. Oh yeh, and leave me a comment if you choose to be a part of the 48 Days toa  better me challenge.

Finally Mary shares from “Take Me As I Am” the importance of sharing your story

“You know I’ve been holdin’ on. Try to make me weak, But I still stay strong. Put my life all up in these songs Jus so you can feel me.”

Your story is meant to be shared. Now I am not saying tell it all. I am saying that you need to ask God to show what to share, when and to whom. Be transparent, honest, and open about you.

I spoke to a group of young people about 6 months ago. My topic was your gifts and your purpose. In sharing about gifts and purpose I was led to share my testimony about being sexually abused as a child. Now I had no idea where the Holy Spirit was going with it but I obeyed.

A few days later, I received an email from the coordinator’s mother telling me that my testimony kept a girl from taking her life that very night. She told a story of her best friend’s brother and friend raping her night after night.

Now I know that the friend the young was talking about was herself and that she was the victim of such a horrid act. I also know that if I would have kept quiet that night I may have been responsible for a young girl’s untimely death.

Sharing your story is also a path to healing for you. It is a good source of therapy. So listen to the holy Spirit when he directs you to share. Even if you are shaking in your boots share that story.

Now these insights are just a few that I think will help you to lead a more authentic life. I used Mary J. Blige’s music because in my opinion secular  music is not bad. It is the message behind it that is bad. While some music is therapeutic and cleansing, it is all very purposeful in reaching it’s target. And with her authentic lifestyle showing through the words of the song, the Spirit led me right to Mary.

Before I close I want to share a few lines from one more Mary Song, Reflections (I Remember) and in some spots you will see where I added my name in; because this song is my story too. It will help you see why I am in my authentic mode:

“I remember back when I didn’t know which way to live. I remember Back when PAIN was All LaTara had To give. Through the reflections of my life I see the Lessons that I’ve learned; And now I know Heartbreak don’t exist When it’s been Torn apart By love

I use to throw a fit I use to shed a doubt and blame it on a man. But that was LaTara then and this is LaTara now. You gotta understand it’s about how we respect ourselves and the men have no control of our self-esteem and when we see that then we can let go

Now I made some mistakes I lost some friends along the way, But I don’t carry it ’cause it made me a better chick. Its my life and I know that there’s more for me to see. I may not be what I’m suppose to But I can tell you right now I ain’t what I use to be.”

This one is so important. I know because I have walked this journey too. Mary has done the same. Listen to theses lines from “Take Me As I am

“She has no regrets, She accepts the past, All these things they helped to make she. She’s been lost and found, And she’s still around There’s a reason for everything”

Have you faced you past? Or have you buried it deep down up under the pit you dwell in? Or do you wear on your sleeve like a proud victim yet never healing from it? Do you regret your past?

If you don’t accept it, deal with it and leave behind all regrets trust me when I say in some way it is bound to be repeated.

I accept that I was molested; I accept that I was physically and mentally abused. I accept that I was a liar and a thief. I taught by my molesters how to lie, cheat, and steal. I accept that I was sneaky and back handed. I accept that I was a poor steward with many of the things God has given me. I accept that I was promiscuous and full of rage towards men.

I accept that I was messed up, torn up, and just down right living in a pit that I was thrown into as child and couldn’t figure out how to come out of it until I was 37 yrs old. I accept it all because it helped mold me into the authentic woman who stands before you today. I was lost, so lost but I praise God that right now I am found. God allowed my negative past because He knew that someone reading this would need to hear what I have to say.

He knew my testimony would encourage someone to trust in Him, hold on to him and know that you can live your life authentically, no matter what the masses say.

Once you accept it, you must heal from it and then you will be delivered from it. This my sister is your path towards abundant liberty in Christ. Jesus officially began his ministry with why has was sent in Luke 4:17 – 20

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,”

Jesus wants to set you free from the parts of your past that has bruised you, give sight where you have been blinded, heal your broken you heart. He wants to deliver you from the past that has held you captive for far too long.

So my sister, learn to accept your past.

With Mary’s CD, “The Breakthrough” there is a call to women to stand strong, don’t give up and breakthrough. Listen to these verses from “You can’t hold a good woman down”…

“It doesn’t Matter what They say or do Don’t let ‘em Get to you, Don’t be afraid You can, you can
You can breakthrough Take what I’ve been  through To see that You can’t Hold a good Woman down
Went through The same point Of givin’ up I felt Like I had enough Went to the edge Of the ledge But I didn’t jump “My Life” Will sum it up You can’t Hold a good Woman down”

Just like Mary don’t you give up! You may be on the ledge and I know what that is like. I have been there too. I was at point in m life about five years ago when I sat on the ledge daily and wished I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I was ready to just give it all up. But God’s grip of grace would not let me give up…..like Mary I did not jump and My life does sum it up….you can’t keep a good woman down.

It is Satan’s job to make you feel as if nothing you do matters and make you feel like walking out on the ledge…don’t you do it. There are too many resources and other women available to help you hold on. Just like me and Mary, God has his grip of grace on you. He won’t let you fall. So you be sure to hold on and breakthrough the storm.

It may enrage you and shake you up a bit but in Psalms 46 you can see where God is your refuge and strength, an ever present help in the time of trouble. Therefore do not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Be still, and know that he is God; He will be exalted among the nations, He will be exalted in the earth.”

You can breakthrough into a more authentic you. The You that you were meant to be.

Love What You Read Today:

If you have not read the first two post in this series be sure to check out the series and make sure to sign up for the RSS Feed.

You know I think we do ourselves a terrible disservice when we live our lives waiting for the bottom to fall out. We say things like…

What’s going to happen now?
I know something is going to go bad?
I know I am going to catch that cold?
I know I am not going to get this job?
I know I won’t make a sale?
I know I am going to lose this race?

What?

Ok Mary what do you have to say about that one. From “No Drama”

“Only God knows where the story ends For me, but I know where the story begins Its up to us to choose Whatever we win or loose And I choose to win”

In other words my sister, seeking a more authentic way of living stop and looking for the bottom to fall out! Stop thinking that the worse is going to happen! Stop buying into Satan’s lies that you are worthless, unwanted, a big fat loser. That is not true. If I have said this once, you can trust I will say it a million and one times:

Your Father, the number 1 Winner does not make junk. Listen to what His word says:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,  your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.  When I awake,  I am still with you.

Do you not see that you were created to win? Is it not time for you to get on board, start living in His abundant will for your life and know that regardless you will win?

Listen to what Mary J. Blige has to say in “Just Fine”
“No time for moping around, are you kidding? And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning”

When you are dwelling in the negative you cannot win. Nothing you do will work out right because that is the way you have trained your mind to think. Negativity clouds godly wisdom and the sound mind He has given you. Your thought process runs your life and if you are negative then…well let’s take it to the word. A Simple yet profound verse in Scripture states As a man thinketh in his heart so he is.

So what are you? How do you think? What dwells in your heart.

Another Mary song “No More Drama” says
“It feels so good When you let go Avoid the drama in your life Now you’re free from all the pain, Free from all the game, Free from all the stress”

Negativity brings unnecessary DRAMA. Let me repeat that Negativity brings unnecessary DRAMA!

How much junk is going on in your life that does not need to need be there?

Now let me say that the negativity not only dwells from the inside but it can be all around you as well. Who or what in your life is a positive energy drainer? In other words who or what clouds your godly wisdom and the sound mind you were blessed with.

If you want to find out more about your authentic self, you have got change that negative mind set.

Be transformed into a more viable alive abundant you by no longer conforming to the ways of this world but by Renewing your mind so that you will be able to prove and be a witness to what is good and what is acceptable and what is perfect in the will of God for your life and those whom you will serve through your calling.

Instead of dwelling on the negative, my sister whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Again in “Just Fine” Mary gives another great insight into authentic living:

“Having a really good time, I’m not complaining And I’m a still wear a smile if it raining I got to enjoy myself regardless I appreciate life, I’m so glad I got mine”

How many times a day do you complain? How many times a day do you say something negative? How many times a day do you react to a situation as opposed to learning how to be proactive?

Maybe you need an understanding of reactive and proactive. To be reactive means a reverse or opposing action. It also means opposition to progress. On-the-other-hand, to be proactive means Acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty; anticipatory or Acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty; anticipatory

Now when we look at these definitions and listen to the insightful words of Mary J, we see that she has chosen a more proactive road. Instead of reacting to a situation and taking chance on causing conflict hurt or pain, she is choosing to take the steps necessary to avoid such issues before they occur.

Being proactive helps you in so many ways. It keeps you level headed, it helps you to keep your emotions in check, it helps you to hold steady to God’s hand because you know you will need Him to make it through. Being more proactive helps you to think before you speak and it may even help you to just shut your mouth.

When you are proactive you know that God will never leave you nor forsake you. He will do as He promises. He will help you carry out the call he has put on your life. You know that your part is to step through the doors He opens and do the work necessary for completion of the task at hand. When you are proactive you know that you have to have a complete spiritual paradigm shift – mind, body, and spirit to effectively carry out the will of God in your life at any given moment.

Proactivity is a key component in the life of a woman who seeks to live a more authentic living in Christ.