Today I was listening to my friend and mentor, Regina Baker speak at an event I used to organize called Synergized Woman. Her topic was Stir Up the Gifts and it was an eye opener for me. Well, maybe more like a confirming revelation but nonetheless something that I truly needed to hear.

Back in 2006 God placed it upon my heart to organize an online event for women to be healed, delivered, and set free. The event was Synergized Woman and the first one was in 2006, the same year the Regina spoke the words that she knew not then, were prophetic and spoke a message to me today.

My life at the was in turmoil at the time and I was in the midst of a miserable marriage and a very very deep depression. Little did I know that at the time God wanted to heal me through these events.

How many of you know that whenever God gives you something to do, you too will be blessed. There is always something in it for you. No, the ultimate goal is not for you but for the glorification of God and the edification of the saints. However, often times God uses your very destiny to heal your soul. You see we are never to think we have arrived and that we are better than those that we serve. That is never the case,.

The Word tells us that we are to always esteem others more highly than ourselves. I know for many this is hard to do; but the Word says do it, and so we must try to with all our might.

When we are in the midst of using what God has blessed us with in order to help others we are often helped as well.  That was my case then but I did not see the whole picture.

I was living in denial of the worth I have in Christ and refused to see that my change was coming. All I had to do was move forward with the call. But I did not.

In 2007 I hosted another Synergized Woman event and was disappointed by the turnout as compared with the previous year. Speakers backed out, the audio conference room was not full and I was just not feeling it.

Are you seeing what I did?

I put ME in the picture.  I did not esteem those in attendance higher than me. It was about ME wanting the event to be a success by numbers. I should have read the story of Gideon and realized that it was not about the number but about the power of God to cause definite change in the lives of His people.

In 2007 I did what I thought was the last Synergized Woman event and stopped ministering to women. It did not help that with my mindset being as it was, when two people who I considered to be mentors at the time told me that I could not minister to women online without being under the leadership of a pastor. They told me that ministries can only exist in the church. Being where I was just made the situation worse.

I stopped letting God heal me through service and I just gave up!

But God!

In  February of 2008, after feeling as if I were worth nothing and meant nothing to others, I attempted to take my life. God would not have and had my oldest son snatch the scissors from my hand. That’s right I said that I tried to kill myself.

Here I was this woman of God trying to do God’s will and I gave up to a point of death!

How very selfish of me.

On that day, however, God began to work in me because it was that time that I truly waved my white flag and told God to do what He will with me life.

Here we are two years later and I have not looked back other than to remind myself where I don’t want to return and to thank God for where He has brought me from. I am grateful!

Listening to Regina speak reminded me that God wants to use me as a vessel of transformation.  Sometime last year I looked up the domain synergizedwoman.com with the thought that surely someone had taken it. My plan was to purchase it if it were available. Guess what?

It was!

I saw as God saying “It is time LaTara for you to take back everything Satan tried to steal from you. It is time for you to move forward with that which I have given to you.

Not only am I going forward with the Synergized Woman event, but I am going forward with all of those things that God has placed in my heart to do. How I will get it all done, I am not sure but God has told me it will be. While I cannot share everything I have on the horizon I can share one more.

I have had it in my heart to do an online devotion but I could not quite figure out how I wanted to do it. One day about a week ago I was venting to my husband (thank God for a repaired marriage) that I could not find a quiet time with God and had not had one for 7 years….oh I was on one y’all! I griped until my husband reminded me that there was time to get quiet.

When we got off the phone I got quiet and asked God what He wanted. Which way does he want me to go? I felt like I was at a fork in the road and needed some guidance.

All I heard was SERVE!

“Serve how Lord?”

“Serve according to my will! I have given you what you need the work.”

“But Lord I don’t see it. What do you want me to do?”

Again all I heard was SERVE!

One way I am accomplishing this is through  my latest venture, Today is a Good Day with God: 365 Days of Inspiring Biblical Affirmations. I am so very excited because with it I am serving with my talent of writing and using the gifts teaching and encouragement God has entrusted me with. It is receiving great feedback and I am so grateful to God for this opportunity to SERVE others in this way.

Look out world…LaTara is coming to SERVE YOU!