Let It Go and Let God

Posted by LaTara on May 16, 2008

I have been a momma for 16 years come June 3rd and let me tell you I have learned a lot. The main thing I have learned however is that you can’t control what God has in His hands.

I have learned that when it comes to our kids we can’t put on them what we want to. We have to learn how to work with the bent of the child and the will of God for their lives. I think I have always been that way because I was raised that way. My mother did not force me to complete college and every endeavor I tried, if it made sense, she supported. My father died when I was 15 but even he was a man who knew that what God had to his kids was for them and there was nothing he could do about it.

Recently however, I was caught in a dilemma where I had to make a choice that had me down for a few days. My husband and oldest son are not getting along. Simply put they are both very stubborn and one of them is almost 16 and is smellin’ himself a little too much. For those who don’t know “smellin’ himself” is a term used when kids forget that they are kids and try to be adult. It usually starts at around 10 and depending on if it is a girl or boy, ends between 16 and 20.

Anyway, one day about two weeks ago, I watched my husband and son become two men struggling to be the dominant male. As I viewed what was going on, I grew tired of the battle and separated the two. I spoke with my son and he asked me if he could just move with my mom. I was floored but also remembered many conversations with my husband where he said he saw this situation coming. Either AJ was going to choose to go or my husband would have to throw him out. I refused to see it. But there it was right in my face.

So I called my mom and told her the decision that was made and cried until I just became a ball of nothing.

What did I do wrong? Why was God allowing this? Why did my life have to happen like this? Why does he need to go? Why can’t my step-family situation work out? Why?

I was having all kinds of horrible thoughts.

I know they love each other but i also know that there is a bit of jealousy, a lot of assuming, a lack of compassion, and other issues. Just because you love someone does not mean that there won’t be issues. If you say otherwise, then you are not being very truthful and perhaps you have on some rose colored glasses.

As the days went on and I would talk to either my son or my husband, I would soak up their words and take it to God. God reminded that this is not the end of the world, I will be near my son when we relocate to OK, and that He has total control. He is allowing this for a few reasons:

Momma needs to learn to let go and let God. You see God showed me a long time ago that AJ has a purpose that I can’t control. Right now he is at a point of deciding whether or not to accept the call and I am just in the way because I will admit I have an issue with control.

My husband and I need some time to heal from the first few years of pain we both endured by hurting one another in one way or another. He also needs to take some time to really understand the mom/son relationship because he never had one with his mom. His mother made the choice not to love her children because they were her children. She was a conditional mom who made a clear choice between her kids.

There are many lessons that I am seeing through this and you know what I really don’t have control over this. It is in God’s hands.

If you are a mom who has yet to experience the teenage years let me tell you when it starts stay on your knees, let go and most of all let God!

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