My friend Mary tagged me in this post over that Moms Talk Network at the beginning of the month. I am so bad with this tagging thing but I am going to try this one.

Mary asked

“What are your thoughts on disciplining your kids? What stages of life are you and your kids in now and what lessons have you learned through the years, or months if you’re a new mom?”

For me I am in two stages of raising my children. My oldest is 16 and my youngest is 5. That is a huge age gap and discplining styles are similar but very different too.

A while back my husband and I were talking about treating each individual as a  Child of God first and then deal with them. Regardless of what they may think about God, they are created in His image.

This is how I try to discipline my boys. Now I don’t always hit the mark but I try.

With my 16 year old I am at a point of mentoring more than discipling and for the most part it works. I just don’t think that forcing a teenager to do things works very well because 9 times out fo 10 they just end up rebelling. I know this well because my 16 year old ran away when he was 13.  I realized then that force never works.

Think about it. When God create us, He gave us a mind to think with and with that came free will. Now while God’s ultimate desire is for us to yield our will over to Him so that we are on the right path with Him, He does not force the issue at all. The choice is ours, but we have to remember 3 things in making decisions in life:

1. Everything you do affects someone else.
2. You have to pay the price for what you do in life – be it good, bad or in between.

These are the very things I tell my 16 yr old. In addition I have a few more pearls of wisdom I share with him:

1. Do what you gotta do so you can do what you want to do
2. Being grown does give you a license to do whatever you want. It is license to behave and act like a responsible individual and to so ethically and morally.

Now while I do not spank my oldest anylonger I do still make him suffer the consequences just as God would. There are times when I may take his phone and then there are times when I let him talk but only got about 5 minutes at time. That burns him up because te conversation has no time to get good and juicy. In other words, I let the punishment fit the crime.

For the most part he is a good kid. All he does is go to school, play sports, help others, coach his little league soccer team, go to church twice  week, play on his computer, eat, and sleep. That is basically it. His goal is not to hang out but to hang in and get what he needs as far as education so that he can get what he wants out of life.

My 5 yr old is another stage of disclipine. Again, he is first a Child of God but how I deal with him is different. He is at tha age where he is very active and inquisitive. It sometimes gets in a lot fo trouble. He seldom gets spanked but he does get restrictions and moral lesson talks. He is a very determined child so his dad and I have learned to team together to help him know how to use that determination in a more proactive manner.

For me I think one of the key elements for discplining both of my boys is that I remind often that tey are chosen by God. I don’t know if it a confidence builder or a conviction vehicle, but it helps them to live a better life. Especially the older one. He knows how to think and pray before moving forward. I did not get that at 16 and boy did my life show it.

Are my kids perfect? Not by a long shot. Am I perfect? Don’t you even believe it.

My oldest can tell you that there have been times when momma would black out and nut up, especially when he started thinking that because he was taller than me, he could handle me. Well let’s just say his butt has shined my wood floors a couple of times. And if he ever comes at me like that again, I will not hesitate to floor him one more time. But i think he has learned…Momma don’t play that.

However, I see the value of disclipling with God instead of doing it on my on my own. So I try to see them both as Children of God first before I discipline. As hard as it may be, it is a valuable thing to do.

What is your story?

I am tagging

Daisy – Dr Mommy Chronicles

April – That Crazy Mom