Nuture You

Posted by LaTara on August 22, 2008

You know as moms and women we neglect ourselves continually. We allow everything and everyone to come before us all the time. Is this the right thing to do? In some instances I say ‘yes’ and in others I say ‘no’.

I think that the goal of any believer is to be available for the work of God and to serve others as He sees fit. We are to strive to become less selfish beings and open ourselves up to the needs of others. I think as moms we have this down pack but as women we are so living as doormats.

Women tend to have a naturally nurturing spirit and we are more apt to step up to the need of another, especially when we become moms. We will be there when they are sick, when they need to be cleaned, when they fall and hurt themselves, when they need, need, and need some more. We become everything to our chidren and, if married, husbands as well.

But what have we become to ourselves? What do we do to enjoy who we are? And we are more than wife and mom -please don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise. We are more than what occurs in the home.

At the beginning of this year I had somewhat of a nervous breakdown and had to seek some assistance to get my mind back on track. You see 5 years of being everything to my family and nothing to myself drove me to a  place that I never thought I would go again. I nurtured everyone else and not myself causing days of sleeplessness, dread, fear, anxiety, insecurity; all leading me to typical and detrimental self-sabotage.

I missed the mark of being the woman God created me to be.

After talking, sharing, praying, crying, and yes, even yelling at God I reached quite a few conclusions:

• LaTara needs time for LaTara. Even Jesus retreated to rejuvenate and spend quality time with his Father.
• A wife’s duty is not to wrap herself in her man. When God told Eve in Genesis 3:16  “Yet your desire and craving will be for your husband, and he will rule over you,” that was not a commandment He was handing down. It was a part of the curse for the sin committed. Oh boy did my eyes open on that one. I am not saying that the man is not the head of the home because that is his role in the family and I am not negating “submission” but that too has been so misconstrued over time.  But I will cover this one more deeply in another post because this is not the purpose for this post.
• Women have to take time for themselves and it is not selfish to do; nor does it mean you love your family any less.
• Your purpose in life is not wrapped up into people. It is wrapped up in God and His desire for your life.
• Men have just as much responsibility for the care of the home as women do. Caring for the home is teamwork, not “woman-work”. I hope I am not making anyone upset but this is what has been revealed to me. I am not being a feminist but a realist.

Now before you go sending me nasty comments about what a terrible wife and mom I am to think of me, let me say that I have shared these same revelations with my man and he agreed wholeheartedly. And after having my breakdown he really worked hard at becoming a part of the team that he had neglected to join from the time we said “I do”.

As women we need time to be who we are. We should not continually lose ourselves in the lives of others, even our husbands and children. That is not what the goal of the Proverb woman was. Don’t believe me, go take a look, and then come back and talk to me.

What I am saying is that it is ok to just be YOU.

It is ok to spend time with friends.

It is ok for your kids and husband to clean up after themselves.

It is ok to eat peanut butter sandwiches for dinner one night as week.

It is ok not to be a door mat. Let me repeat that…

IT IS OKAY NOT TO BE A DOORMAT

It is ok to have a dream that is God revealed and ordained; and it is ok to live that dream

It is ok to say that you are tired or that you don’t feel well.

It is ok to tell your husband that you can’t be his everything.

It is ok to teach your kids to be self-sufficient and to learn to so things for themselves.

IT IS OK!

Think about this way, while you are neglecting you, everyone is being nurtured to become more, to do more. not what happens if, God forbid, your husband died or abandoned you tomorrow. What happens when the kids are grown and out of the house. Who will you be then? What will you do?

Are you prepared for that?

Today and everyday take the time to nuture you!

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