Repositioning My Thoughts
Aug 6, 2008 Unplugged Authentcity
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The main concept that I picked up from reading Repositioning Yourself by TD Jakes, is that in order to navigate any part of your life with success, your thoughts must be in alignment with the changes you need to make. If you try to reposition with unhealthy thoughts, you will only be blowing hot air and a bunch of fluff.
Your mind must believe in what you are doing and faith is the catalyst for the belief. Even if it is as small as mustard seed you can move a mountain.
There is not trick to making the paradigm to a new way of thinking. However, you must be aware that renewing your mind is not an easy thing to do; but if you are determined to make the change, you can. No matter how small the steps are that you must take to do so, it can be done.
Some of the negative thoughts in my own mind were:
- I will never lose the weight
- I am in debt and will never crawl my way out
- I want to get out of this hopeless marriage. My husband is just not getting me.
- I will never profit in my business.
- I am not a good mom. What mom would send her son to live elsewhere. I should have just left my husband.
- I never finished college so what will I really amount to?
- I am so and so years old and this is where my life is…nowhere
Now, that is just not the way that God would have you to think. That train of thought does nothing for abundant living. In fact it goes totally against everything that Jesus taught. You see when I read my Word, I see where it says that I am the head and not the tail and how Jesus came that I might have abundant life. I also see where Paul tells me that God does not give me the spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. Oh yeah, and in Nehemiah, it tells me that I am the apple of God’s eye.
With affirmations like that this is what my thoughts should be:
- I did not get this way overnight and it will not come off over night. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and God did not make me junk. Yes, I gained some weight and need to lose it but I am the best me I can be at this moment in my life.
- I am in debt. I need to figure out why and take the steps necessary to get out.
- I can only work on me. I come with flaws. Who said that my husband would be perfect. He is the man that God intended for me and I have been more than blessed to have him in my life.
- If I apply what I know and listen to His leading, I will create an income and my business will thrive.
- Sending my son to Oklahoma had nothing to do with me. It was his choice and he is doing so well there. He needed to be somewhere where he could fly on wings of his own. I am a good mother because Iistened to God’s leading.
- Girl, look at what God has given you. You are intelligent, wise, and have the skills, talents and gifts to go far in life.
- You may have taken some wrong turns in life, but you are striving daily to stay the path He has set for you.
Do you see the difference?
A paradigm shift is an absolute must if you are to live that authentic existence that God intends for you to live. Your thoughts can not dwell on the negative because that will get you no where fast. Instead bask in the fact that God has great things in store for you and let your thoughts rest there.
A side note here is that while you bask on what is good, pure, lovely, and of good report, please do not think I am speaking of any new age philosophy, because I am not. Know that for every level there will be problems - that is a given. However, the best thing to do when issues arise is to reposition yourself to meet the challenges that stand before you.
Keep your head where it belongs and stop that gutter thinking. Reposition your mind and change the direction of your life.
I dare you to take the chance and change the way you think!
Repositioning My Marriage
Jul 20, 2008 Unplugged Authentcity
As I read this book, I realize that I also need to reposition my marriage; even more so than I already have. On September 1 I will be celebrating my 6th Anniversary and I have to be honest when I say that my first few years were pure hell and I was ready to jump ship so many times.
There are many layers to the story of my life with the Man but for the sake of this post, I will only focus on the ones that I think had the most impact on why I went through so much pain.
My husband and I met on July 4, 2002 over the internet. It was a fast courtship as we both knew what we were looking for and we were older than the average couple when they marry, so we married after his visit to my home in Los Angeles. I had already been told by my mentor years before meeting Rupert that I was going to marry fast. I did not believe her and look who was right. Were Nancy still alive today, she would still be laughing.
I moved to Chicago in November of that same year and while on birth control, became pregnant with Brehane in December. Talk about a shock to my system. We were not expecting that at all but we worked our way through it and thanked God for the blessing that would be Brehane Yosef Ham-Ying.
My husband is an odd man who I think has way too much intelligence for any one human. As result it can sometimes make living with him very unbearable. But he can find a solution for just about anything. Ever heard of McGyver? Well my husband is him in the flesh. I have to admit though that being married to a hot headed woman for the last 6 years has taught him much and he see that he does not have the control he thought he did.
I went into the marriage depressed and as result it reaked havoc on many things in our marriage. I also had an attitude issue because I was not as trustworthy of men as some women are. I was raised by my momma who after being abused by my sister’s father decided never to marry again and she never let another man step over her. However, she did not teach her daughters the value of a man outside of making sure he had money and a job.
I had to help my sister fight her husband, watched my momma beat up my drunk aunt’s drunk boyfriends time after time again until my momma finally told her to get out, and I was sexually abused by, not one, but 5 different people, 4 of them being male. When my daddy found out that one of the men was my own step-brother he beat the fool out of him and told me that he would never bother me again. Which he did not but my daddy also did not tell my momma which in turn means I received no help for the problem. And then my daddy died in 1985.
When Daddy died it was as if my very life slipped from me and I went deeper and deeper into an abyss of mistrust, bitterness, and even anger.
I realized sometime later that all of these events perpetrated by men left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth when it came to trust. For me I had been disappointed by every man who entered my life, even Daddy because he died before it was time.
Yet, I knew I wanted to be married. I learned that while I had forgiven all those who were a part of my downfall into depression, I did not heal from that abusive past. I carried it with me into my marriage, unbeknown to me, and in turn I did some very mean things to my husband.
So you see a few of the layers and you can see that they run pretty deep because there are more.
In 2006, I began to work on LaTara and all I had contributed to our marriage. I allowed God to show me all the ugliness that dwelled deeper than I had imagined. What He showed me was not good but I had to look in the mirror in order to begin the healing process.
Let me pause here to say that while I am not the only one in this marriage and it takes two to tangle, I can only be responsible for me.
What Repositioning Yourself is confirming for me is that I am on the right road. When TD talks about dealing with those voices of reasons, I felt very connected to L Lover. I gave my husband the blues in many instanced and mis-trusted him, closing him out of much of my life out of fear, that like many of the men in my life, he too would disappoint.
My marriage is much better today than it was yesterday. I am learning to appreciate and trust the man that God put in my path for a life together; bringing Him Glory. Is it perfect? Heck no! But it is much better.
Where There Is No Vision
Jul 15, 2008 Unplugged Moments
Ok so I am only in chapter 3 of the book but this is not a book that you digest quickly. You have to take it one bite at a time and digest it slowly so that you don’t miss the valuable nutrition it provides. This morning’s meal was phenomenal.
Chapter 3 finds us reading about how we can become much like that characters on the tv show Lost. They had no idea where they were so they had no idea how to get out. How many times have I felt that way. You know that’s what happens when we allow life to stand on top of us as opposed to us standing on top of life. Talk about a wake up call!
It is so easy to let life beat you up and tear you down. But TD makes some great points that I just have to share:
“If we are to overcome our failures and disappointments in life, we must develop our own navigational system.”
“Do I accept this (the circumstance) is my fate or simply a temporary state? If it is my fate, then I am finished and I should give up.”
“It is so easy to become engrossed in one circumstance and lose sight of the limitless power that lies within what we have been given.”
“…we will often misdiagnose the problem and feel defeated when we could actually prevail.”
“Now you must understand that positioning requires understanding where you are and measuring it against where you are going”
The italicized word is mine but the rest, man, that is some good stuff. In essence what TD is saying is that without vision the people will fail. It is up to the individual to determine ENOUGH and work at making life what is is intended to be for them. Their destiny is determined by their navigational system.
Do you have a navigational system? What is your vision?
I will be the first to admit that because of the depression I was in from 1997 until 2007 I let life beat me up pretty bad and in turn I lost sight of my vision. You see God gave me a vision some years ago and I have always known that my mission, vision, and main goal in life is to be a Motivating Encouraging Force in the lives of those I come in contact it on some level, as mandated by God. Whichever way He tells me to turn I must do. I knew then what I know now, that for me my vision is a God vision.
I am stuck on the verse in Psalms 37 where it tells me to delight myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires of my heart. My vision should be a part of my desire and that means my delight in the Lord directs and guides my desires. In case you are not getting it, what I am really saying is “It is not about me at all”.
So in my repositioning I am once again catching hold to the vision I have had for some time now. As I catch on to the vision it motivates me to move forward with my goals and dreams in life. In my depressed stated I felt that there was no need to dream because God did not want me to. But I was listening to the wrong voice and in the end it was me who missed out and I could have been doing my vision. Nope,
Notice I said “doing my vision”. What I mean is that as Jakes says in the book, God has already instilled in me all I need to move forward and accomplish the vision set before me; but I need to reposition myself to be able to utilize the gifts, skills, and talents He has entrusted me with. That means I must be doing something to make the vision a reality.
It makes no difference how far I am from the dream and I may make the wrong turn every now and then, but my navigational system will be right there to get me back on track. That means there is no reason to let life sit on top of me because I can always allow the system to guide me towards the right road. In allowing this, what I am doing is actually living on top of life no matter what my current state is.
No I will not always be in a good state. Life just does not work like that. However, even if I am in a bad state, I can, like Paul, learn to be content and know that this too shall pass. Nothing is forever except God’s purpose.
I am so encouraged by what I read this morning and I have more to share. However, I will write more posts on the subject later. For now I have to go and “do my vision”.
Repositioning My Business
Jul 13, 2008 Unplugged Moments
As I am reading Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits, I am making changes almost daily. As I write this post I am looking at my business structure and how many branches it has to it. There are not many but the fruit they are yielding is growing into some pretty tasty fruit. However, I have to make some changes to make it all work.
So here are a few changes I am making:
- After September Vegan Family Living will be more in the hands of my husband so that I can focus on the service business that is blooming before my eyes. We are also turning it into an online magazine with a holistic mission. So I am not sure if the name will change yet. I don’t think it will but we shall see. We are seeking writers and if you are interested in joining the team just email me for the writers’ guidelines. Having more writers than just me will also help with time to. I already have an editor in the wings waiting to start.
- The Vegan Meal Helper will remain as it is for now. The changes I made were minimal but afforded me time to focus elsewhere when needed. Again, this will also be another area that my husband will become more involved in September. The members love it and I am going to be featured on a new site launching July 15, Herproblog where I talk about how I created the membership site using WP only. They think it is very cool!
- I hired my son, AJ to help me with VA work. His rates are cheaper and I can add this to his homeschool portfolio. He will be doing audio producing/editing, uploading content, transcribing, email cleaning, formatting recipes, writing show notes, and submitting articles for me. He is excited!
- I am branching out in the service field to provide WP blog consulting and customization services. I am taking a cool course right now, Blog Evangelist, and it is so on time. I already have a writing service I provide through The Natural Writer and it is doing well.
- My target market is still the same as it is with every part of my structure as is my mission to help people live more proactive lives through natural health and living.
- September will find another new project for me but this time it is a JV with my good friend, Marguerite Wright of Mother Knows Best. We are excited to bringing a service to the table that will help women with the many health issues they have. I will be more on the marketing end of things. More on this to come soon!
What I have realized is that God is moving me more towards the service end and I love it. I enjoy my other sites but I have a passion and drive for the services I provide plus I think I am pretty good writer and I know enough about WP to help folks get a blog up, add some cool plug-ins and even do quite a bit of customization. I think that is good.
I see God repositioning my entire family in so many ways and I have been encouraging it on every end. Every part of our business structure is beginning to involve the family. My 32 year old niece in LA who is a single mom working 2 jobs (3 when school is in) to make ends meet is about to join our structure as well. It is my goal to get this girl home creating an income that is comparable to what she brings home now. Even my 68 year old mom will be getting in with us once the garden gets going.
I really don’t think God would have it any other way.
Repositioning is a good thing! Stay tuned for more.
Repostion Yourself - The Beginning
Jul 9, 2008 Unplugged Authentcity
by TD Jakes. When the book first came out, I felt a tug towards it, but I was still in a mind set of not caring much about who I was, where I was going, or what God had for me to do. I was in denial that God could actually bless a woman like me.
I was in an apathetic mode and I really was not aware until one day I looked in the mirror and said to myself, “I don’t like me. Why would God even care to do anything through me.”
Truly I was giving up on myself, my hopes, my dreams, my desires, and my drive to be that motivating force that God called me to be so many years ago. I found myself wondering where LaTara went. What happened to that girl who had faith that move mountains and stepped out on the tight rope with God as the balancing stick?
Many of you know, if you follow this blog, that almost 2 years ago I decide it was time to come out of my depressed state. That meant working through every emotion that had me in the state that I was in. But at the time I was not at a point to read books like Reposition Yourself and although this particular book did not come out until 2007, I was not ready then either.
Anyway, I am at the point where I need to read this book and soak up what it has for me.
From the moment I read the first word, I have been enthralled with what TD has to say. He starts out telling he story of how we come to face the characters of our voices of reason. The example of the woman in this book that he used had to face Bee - The spiritual self, Manny - the Manager, L Lover, and Dee Dreamer.
Each of these characters come together to have an intervention of sorts and make the woman face things she has been dealing with all the wrong way because she has become a bitter, apathetic individual whose goals had become a bit warped. Here are a few of the observations that each of these characters shared with her:
Dee Dreamer: “It’s been so painful watching you settle for less and less in your life, working a job beneath your talents and capabilities, accepting the roles that others assign to you, giving up the creative pursuits that once fueled your ambition. I’m the part of you that longs to be all that you were created to be, the dreamer inside you who loves to look ahead and aim for the top… Instead of fighting to keep the fire inside you alive, you let the embers die by becoming addicted to a life without dreams, without hope… You can’t do on this way -it’s killing you. Fight for the dreams that were once such a vital part of your life.”
L Lover: “Look at your now. I see you faking your interest, distracted by what you need. You stopped giving, so you stopped getting back. You can’t sow indifference and get back affection. Forget about the relationships that went bad or had issues. Don’t lose sight of the loving person you were meant to be. You stopped loving the idea of love. Your authentic self is camouflaged by a self who has no feelings. Do you know that living inside of you is like being trapped by a mannequin?”
Manny, The Manager: “”Your addiction to apathy has affected everything. It has affected your business - your finances are going to hell! And don’t even get me started on your credit! You are just letting things go. You don’t handle your business anymore. You won’t face up to issues and that not getting any better. They are getting worse…Listen, I know you have faith and I know you believe in God. But God helps those who help themselves. Or maybe I should say faith without works is dead. You can’t just pray about business, you have to do something. Doesn’t the Bible say that a blessed man is the one who “whatsoever he doeth shall prosper’? Listen God can’t bless what you won’t do. You haven’t been taught correctly. Prosperity doesn’t come from giving an offering. It’s good to be a giver. But you must also be a thinker, a planner, and a worker.”
Bee, the Believer: “If you want to break through your addiction to mediocrity, your recovery must be spiritual. It doesn’t necessarily involve going to church. That is good but without a personal relationship with God, churchgoing is empty. Focus on what your soul hungers and thirst for: to relate to God. God will guide you, but only you can take the first step on the exciting journey known as the rest of your life. Aren’t you tired of the slop for which you have been settling? You may have squandered your resources so far, but God delights in providing His children with what they need when they rely on Him. It’s time. It’s time.”
Now I don’t know about you, but this sister saw herself in this woman who was being faced with her voices of reasons. Mine have been speaking to me for some time and I have watched myself change and continue to do so as I take steps to make sure that I am repositioning myself.
I am going to share more from this phenomenal book, Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits , and I invite you if you have the book to comment, write about it on your blog, or just say a pray for me and others who are in the process of repositioning in some area of their lives.
