The Perfect Mom - Guest Blogger Darlene Hull
Dec 30, 2007 Unplugged Authentcity
I am very excited to have Darlene Hull as our first Unplugged Mom Guest Blogger. I have been getting her newsletter about becoming a Defrazzled Mom for over a year. It is great. You can read her unplugged contributions today and Wednesday.
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I sat there on Christmas Eve observing our living room?s state of mild disarray. The gifts were wrapped (though rather awkwardly) but the advent wreath was on the floor ? minus its candles - where it was moved when we set up some games on the dining room table three weeks earlier. Christmas cards received were in a pile on the kitchen counter, and I was missing most of my Christmas CD?s. To make matters worse, here it was, 9:00 in the evening, and I couldn?t find the Christmas stockings. I?d seen them somewhere in the last three weeks, but I couldn?t remember where.
As I sat there in despair, I thought of a friend of mine. A pastor?s wife and mother of 6 kids ranging from 6 to 18, I knew that at her place everything was looking like a Christmas card. The house would have been tidy and beautifully decorated, baking (tons of it) would have been done, a fantastic Christmas morning breakfast was probably waiting in the fridge, music would have been playing softly in the back ground, packages would have been artistically wrapped with ribbon and gift tags, and all the stockings (hand made) would have been hanging over the hearth.
I suddenly felt totally inadequate as a mom.
I tearfully expressed my failings to my husband who came home a while later, and he looked surprised, and replied that that is all my friend does ? she?s a mom, and she loves it. Loves cooking, cleaning, decorating, nurturing, cuddling, preparing. That?s what she does with her time. I, on the other hand, mother alongside everything else I?m doing. My husband reminded me that night that my friend probably had not spent the last 3 weeks single handedly preparing three Christmas Eve services. She had probably not spent several days at the church loading video clips, finding backgrounds to song lyrics, and rehearsing a solo along with a dozen Christmas carols. She does not have a home business, nor does she homeschool her kids.
It was a wake-up call. Something I know to be true, but often forget. Both my friend and I are great moms ? but it just looks different from the outside. I don?t have any of the traditional mothering skills, but I know how to raise great kids.
However, even though I?m not great at any of the domestic stuff, I am great at giving my kids many, very different experiences, and countless opportunities to explore life in all its fullness. My kids are balanced, happy, intelligent, curious, hilarious, interesting, and delightful ? and they?re teenagers!
Next Christmas I may still not have any of the decorations in place, and it will probably still be a jumble of activity and chaos, but it will be a family celebration ? OUR family celebration, warts and all.
After all, I am the one God called to raise these kids and therefore, I am the perfect mother for them. They need both my strengths and my weaknesses to be everything God has called them to be. And if they want better domestic training to be able to be more ?traditional? parents, well, they can always ask my friend for help and advice!
About Darlene:
Darlene Hull is an ordinary, imperfect, mom who came to her mothering role with NO natural skill or gifting. Having taught herself how to spend her whole day in her weaknesses instead of her strengths without going crazy, Darlene now helps other moms do the same.
Darlene is presently a happily married, homeschooling mom of two teenagers and can now manage her household with grace and humor. She is even able to keep up with the cleaning most days, though she tries not to overdo it!
Darlene is also a speaker, facilitator, coach, writer, and the creator of the Mom-Defrazzler.
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